Diary of a Flaneur by Xavier Prince
the city’s modernity is most particularly defined for him by the activities of the flâneur observer, whose aim is to derive ‘l’éternel du transitoire’ (‘the eternal from the transitory’) and to see the ‘poétique dans l’historique’ (‘the poetic in the historic’).
~Christopher Butler
7/8/20**
In my time here I have surmised it is the easiest thing in the world to be one who is never wrong. To do this one must apply careful thought and consideration into always saying and thinking what is most fair. The superpositional strategy is helpful in that it reduces one’s overall fallibility. It is most important here that one does not forget the pertinence of their original mission. Many a minor fool has been known to do this, which has resulted in many more minor inconveniences. One’s mission is to never be wrong; it is imperative this is not confused with wanting to be right. Being right is of little concern. This attitude may seem out of place in a world that seems to move in strict accordance with its rightness. This is undoubtedly not the case. What I have come to believe is that each person may only live with their subjective reality and in this way, they may exercise the limits of comfortability.
10/4/20**
In this way, a man has no imperative to commit himself to anything whole heartedly. I have decided to keep my heart very private, and by never revealing it, I will consistently hold an advantage over every person I meet. Especially those who I have deceived into thinking they know it well. I have succeeded in creating between myself and others a critical distance. To judge something objectively there is required asymmetry of judgment. I am able to clearly understand other people by observing them. I do not have to doubt or worry about their observations, as in the privacy of my heart, I know their judgments are incomplete.
10/8/20**
I have found this is the easiest thing in the world. With this in mind I am capable of all kinds of loitering and exploitation. I have nowhere to be, and nothing to do. Because of this I am capable of many things. These things do not need to be actualized, however. To me, potentiality is the ultimate marker of success. This attitude makes matters of the heart quite inaccessible. Instead of burdening myself with actuality, I commit myself to an ever-increasing collection of possibilities.
12/16/20**
At times, when these possibilities seem to have become too many to count, I lament that have I may have made myself into someone that has missed nothing, at the cost of having been entirely missed myself-
Artist’s Statement
I am a nonfiction writer who uses memoir as the grounds to explore themes of identity, American Blackness, radical Love, and the existential experience. Through the use of experimental form, hybridity, pseudonymity, and lyricism, I seek to distill my understanding of the self as emerging, ineffable, and compounded. A ray of light refracted through a myriad of lenses as realities; ones that don’t always add up. I write to pierce through the solipsism which has afflicted my post-ironic heart, and it will all have been worth it if I could say just one thing that was true.
Xavier Prince is an MFA candidate, and nonfiction writer living and studying in Oxford, OH. With recent degrees in English and philosophy, he is interested in using experimental forms to deal with memoir, Black existentialism, and Love. He has work published in the Scarab Literary Magazine.