A Simple Walk by Donnetrice Allison

I’ll never forget the way he hugged me
When he walked through that door.
My heart skipped a beat.
I could feel it – 
Like finding a missing puzzle piece
And snapping it back to its rightful place.
My heart skipped a beat.
Just thinking about what could have happened
Had we not drilled into him
What to do
When, not if, they stop you.

Tonight, was the night
That we prayed would never happen,
But knew probably would.
Thank God my son passed the test.
He called me
Immediately
And left the line open
The cop said,
“We got a complaint
Of a suspicious person
Walking around in this neighborhood
Looking into cars.”

Bullshit!
My son would never do that.
When he takes walks,
Which he often does,
He’s fully engrossed in his music.
He loves his music.
He walks with a pep in his step
And not a care in the world,
No reason to look into a car.
But that was their story.

They said they stopped him.
Because
“He fit the description.”
They wanted to know his name,
Where he lived.
He said,
“My mom’s on the phone,
She can tell you.”
“Well how old are you?” One of them asked.
“Eighteen.”
“Then we don’t need to talk to her.”
“Do you have ID?”
“No, I left my wallet at home.” His voice quivered.

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
My husband takes the phone.
“Akili, put the officer on the phone.”
“My dad wants to speak to you.”
“Just put him on speaker.” The officer snapped.
My husband asked for his name.
And badge number.
8-5-7-6-1

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
The officer goes on to say,
“Someone called us,
Then, followed your son,
Because he seemed suspicious.”

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
I’m thinking of TRAYVON,
AHMAUD,
TAMIR,
MIKE.

“Is my son free to leave?”
“No, we need his name and address.”
My husband gives me back the phone,
And rushes out the door.
“Where are you Akili?”
I run to catch my husband
“He’s in front of School 2!”

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
“Akili daddy’s coming!”
“My dad is coming,” he repeats.
“Akili, stay on the line!”

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
“There’s dad, I see him.”
“Don’t hang up yet!”
I listen.
I pray.
My husband is upset.
Please God, let him keep his cool.
I can hear it in his voice,
Anger, yet forced politeness.
Stay calm.
Just come home.

“I don’t understand why you stopped him in the first place.”
“We had a complaint sir,
We had to follow up.”
My husband tells me later,
There were at least a half dozen of them
Called to the scene
For one boy – one sweet, polite boy.

“Who complained?”
“It was an off-duty officer,
Who followed your son.
Then he called us,
Because your son seemed
suspicious.” 

I’m panicking.
My heart is beating out of my chest.
I pray.
My husband calms himself.
“Is my son free to go?”
“Yes, he can go now.” 

I’ll never forget the way my son hugged me
When he walked through that door.
He hugged me for TRAYVON,
AHMAUD,
TAMIR,
MIKE.
He hugged me now understanding
That a simple walk could mean his life.

Artist’s Statement

Raising Black boys in this society is terrifying, and raising one who is on the Autism spectrum can be downright paralyzing. We had “the talk” with our son long before the day of this encounter. It is the talk that all Black parents raising Black boys must have to keep them safe. As much as we hate it, we must steal their innocence to save their lives. We must tell them that they cannot walk through this society oblivious. They must constantly be on guard, pay attention to their surroundings, and be wary of police encounters. We were somewhat relieved when our son expressed disinterest in driving. We thought, at least he won’t have to deal with “driving while Black,” but he likes to walk. It helps him clear his mind, feel less anxious and feel “free” to just turn on his music and walk around our “safe” suburban neighborhood that he’s lived in since he was eight years old. But for a Black boy, a simple walk is not simple. The night after this encounter, I couldn’t sleep. I wrote this poem at 4 am.

Donnetrice C. Allison, Ph. D, serves as chair of the Africana Studies Program at Stockton University. Dr. Allison has been a media scholar for more than two decades, publishing several articles, book chapters, and conference presentations on hip-hop culture and media portrayals of African Americans, and she is the sole editor of the book Black Women's Portrayals on Reality Television: The New Sapphire, published by Lexington Books. Dr. Allison is currently working on a novel loosely based on her journey to find her Nigerian roots and a script for a television pilot called Teaching While Black. She is an author, wife, and mother of three young adults and one American Staffordshire Terrier.